One Minute I'm Crying at a Dog Food Commercial, The Next I'm Ready to Fight Everybody in the Winn-Dixie
Y'all, if your moods have been all over the place — raging, weeping, anxious, then numb — you are not crazy, you are not mean, and you are not losing yourself.
You're in menopause, and your brain is trying to recalibrate.
At 57 here in Pearl River, this was the symptom that scared me most. I could handle a hot flash. I could handle dry skin. But I did NOT know how to handle snapping at people over nothing, then crying in the pantry because I felt so guilty.
If that's you, pull up a chair. Let's talk about mood regulation — why it happens and the daily habits that actually steadied me.
👉 Shop the exact wellness swaps Nana made: Shop Nana's Mood Regulation Routine
This is for information only — not medical advice. If you have low mood that won't lift, panic attacks, or thoughts of harming yourself or others, please call your healthcare provider or 988 right away.
You deserve support.
Why Our Mood Goes Haywire in Menopause
It's not just "being emotional."
1. Estrogen is a brain chemical helper. Estrogen helps make and use serotonin (calm, happy) and dopamine (motivation). When estrogen drops and bounces in perimenopause, those chemicals bounce too. One day you're up, next day you're down.
2. Progesterone drops too. Progesterone is our calming, sleepy hormone. Less of it means lighter sleep and more wired-but-tired anxiety at night. No sleep = no patience.
3. Stress cup is already full. At this age we are holding everybody — jobs, parents, kids, grandkids, bills. Menopause hits when our stress hormone cortisol is already high. Cortisol steals from our calm.
So it's not one bad day. It's hormones + no sleep + full life = mood that feels out of control.
The moods I felt most:
Irritability over tiny things
Sudden tearfulness and emotional sensitivity
Anxiety that pops up for no reason
Low motivation and loss of confidence — "Where did I go?"
Mood swings — happy, mad, crying all before 9 AM
That is classic. You are not alone.
My 7 Daily Habits for Mood Regulation — Nana's Steadying Rituals
No single cure, cher. It was habits stacked every day that made my mood feel steadier. Not perfect, but steadier.
1. The 10-Minute Morning Brain Dump (Before I Talk to Anybody)
I get up, make my warm water, and before I touch my phone, I write. Not pretty writing. Just: "I feel ___ because ___. What I need today is ___." 3 lines. Getting it out of my head and onto paper stops it from looping all day.
I do this with my morning calm diffuser blend diffusing. That bright, grounding scent tells my brain: we are starting calm, not chaotic.
2. Protein + Fat Within 90 Minutes of Waking
When I skipped breakfast or just had toast and coffee, my mood crashed by 10 AM. Now I eat within 90 minutes — hemp + pea protein shake, a little healthy fat, and fruit. No sugar crash = less snappy.
My switch that helped most: I moved regular coffee to only morning and cut it off by 3 PM. I do my Dose mushroom coffee + protein ritual cold with almond milk — Lion's Mane + L-Theanine for steady focus, no jittery feeling that made my anxiety and hot flashes worse. Steady energy = steadier mood.
3. Move Your Mood — 20 Minutes a Day
I don't mean killing yourself at the gym. I mean walk 20 minutes.
If I'm feeling weepy, I walk. If I'm feeling ragey, I walk faster.
4. The 3 PM Reset — Not Caffeine, Not Sugar
At 3 PM my old pattern was: tired, grouchy, eat cookies, drink more coffee, ruin sleep, grouchier tomorrow.
New pattern: 3 PM I drink water, step outside for 3 deep breaths — in 4, hold 4, out 6 — and roll women's balance roller on my wrists and behind my neck. That little scent pause keeps me from snapping at everybody at dinner time.
Clary Sage essential oil has been my friend for those weepy, tense afternoons. It's known for its floral, calming scent that many women like during this stage.
5. Cool, Dim Evenings for Sleep = Better Mood Tomorrow
Bad sleep = bad mood. Non-negotiable.
My sleep rules:
Bedroom 68°, fan on
Cotton pajamas (or Naked), cotton sheets
Screens off 30 min before bed
Warm bath or foot soak 2x/week with lavender + cedarwood + Epsom Salt soak
Stretch before sleep
When I sleep 6-7 hours, I can handle anything. When I sleep 4, I cry over spilled rice.
6. Connection Over Isolation
Menopause made me want to hide. Low confidence, no motivation, "I don't feel like myself." Hiding made it worse.
Now I have a rule: one real connection a day. Call my Daddy. Text my friend. Sit on the porch with a neighbor. Even 5 minutes. Anxiety and low mood get louder in isolation. They get quieter when we talk.
7. My "Pause Before I Pop Off" Trick
When I feel that flash of rage coming — you know that heat in your chest — I do Nana's 90-Second Pause:
Hand on heart, hand on belly
Say in my head: "This is hormones + history + tired. I don't have to act on this heat."
Inhale for 4 with stress easy roller in my palms
Exhale slow for 6
Ask: "What do I actually need? Water? Air? A minute alone?"
90 seconds. Most surges pass. If it doesn't, I walk away and come back. That pause saves my nerves.
My Natural Tools Shelf for Mood — How I Use Oils Safely
I will link my favorites below because y'all always ask. I use them as ritual tools, not cures:
For morning steady focus: Lion's Mane Mushroom Coffee — Dose + citrus delight diffuser blend
For irritable / ragey afternoons: women's balance roller — on wrists, take 3 breaths. Clary sage is a favorite for women's emotional balance.
For weepy / anxious evenings: cedarwood for feet + wild orange for palms during breathwork
For bedtime worry: magnesium lotion with lavender on feet + sleep roller
Always diluted. Always patch test. Never on broken skin, near eyes, or undiluted. Keep away from pets and kids. If you are pregnant, nursing, or on hormone or mood medications, check with your provider first — some oils aren't for everyone.
How to Use This Routine
My daily mood regulation schedule at 57:
6:30 AM — Wake, water, brain dump journal, diffuse citrus delight, protein breakfast + Dose
10:00 AM — Walk 20 min outside
12:30 PM — Protein + colorful plate lunch
3:00 PM — Water + 90-second pause + Women's Balance roll-on, no caffeine
6:00 PM — Light dinner
8:00 PM — Stretch + warm soak 2x/week + cedarwood diffusion
9:00 PM — No screens, gratitude list of 3 things, magnesium lotion, sleep
Two weeks of this and my husband said, "Welcome back, Tee." I cried. Happy tears this time.
When to Get Extra Support
Please talk to your provider if:
Low mood lasts more than 2 weeks and you lose interest in things you loved
Anxiety or panic attacks happen often or keep you from living
Rage feels out of control or scary
You have thoughts of harming yourself or others — call or text 988 for immediate help
988 connects you to a real, trained crisis counselor — not a bot — free, 24/7. You can call, text, or chat, and it routes you to help based on your area.
You are going through a major life transition.
Asking for help is strength.
Frequently Asked Questions
How is menopause mood different from just having a bad day?
A bad day usually has a clear cause and passes on its own. Menopause mood swings can come out of nowhere, cycle through several emotions in one morning, and keep happening for months — that pattern is tied to the estrogen and progesterone shifts described above, not just circumstance.
How long did it take before you felt steadier?
About two weeks of doing the full daily routine consistently before my husband noticed a real difference. Some individual tools, like the 90-second pause, help in the moment the first time you try them — but the steadier baseline mood took the habits stacking day after day.
Do I have to use essential oils to make this routine work?
No — the core habits (the morning brain dump, protein within 90 minutes, the daily walk, the 90-second pause, protecting your sleep, and daily connection) are what actually shift mood. The oils are a scent-ritual layer on top, not a requirement.
What's the difference between normal menopause moodiness and something I should see a doctor about?
Normal menopause mood swings, while frustrating, still let you function and pass within hours or a day. It's time to reach out to your provider if low mood lasts more than 2 weeks with loss of interest in things you love, if anxiety or panic attacks are frequent, if rage feels genuinely out of control, or if you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or others — that last one means calling or texting 988 right away.
Why does the 90-second pause work?
That surge of heat and rage is a real physical stress response, and physical stress responses are time-limited — most peak and start to fade within about 90 seconds if you don't act on them. The hand-on-heart, breathing, and naming what's happening ("this is hormones + history + tired") gives your body something to do besides react while that surge passes.
More From Nana
Menopause Sleep, Itching & Joint Pain | Nana's Night Routine
Menopause Fatigue: Real Causes & Nana's Natural Relief Guide
34 Symptoms of Menopause Explained | Nana's Real Talk Guide
Nana's Bottom Line
Cher, mood regulation in menopause is not about being a perfect, calm lady all day. It's about having habits that catch you when you swing.
For me it was: write it out, feed my brain steady protein, move my body, pause 90 seconds before I react, keep my sleep sacred, and use a scent ritual that tells my nervous system "we are safe."
You are not losing yourself. You are becoming a steadier version. And you don't have to do it alone.
👉 Shop the exact wellness swaps Nana made: Shop Nana's Mood Regulation Routine
What mood hits you hardest — the rage, the weepies, or the anxious buzz? Drop it in the comments, I read every one and I'll pray for you.
Affiliate disclosure: Contains affiliate links for oils and products I personally use. I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
For informational purposes only. Essential oils are not medical treatments. For medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, consult a qualified professional.
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